Funny things my family says...

The Funny Things Dads Say To Their Kids:

• "Stop apologizing, put your brain back in your head! What's wrong with you today!"
• "Son, waking your dad up early in the morning to help with homework that should have been done the night before - is like... Walking in to a lion's cage wearing a piece of raw meat as a hat!
• "You have puberty all over!"
• Most people, unlike your father don't advertise their mistakes. I do because I need you to know -- what not to do!!!

From the - My Kids Say The Funniest Things - file:

• "You're young in the head."
• "Rasberries, no I don't eat rasberries! It have hair."
• "Dad, today I got the boys puberty booklet at school! You wanna look at it!"
• "You were circumcised when you were born...That explains why I have such a small pipi!"
• "Do grapes grow on trees?"
• "If women go to the bridal shop, then men go to the groomal store!"
• "Dad, are you going to get mad at what I'm about to say?"
• "Mom, I am warning you - I am doing Jillian Michaels without my pants on!"
• "I like sports with balls in them! You know - basketball, volleyball..."

From the - My Wife Says The Funniest Things - file:

• "Guys you want to hear something funny yesterday!"
• "Dont be so agressive when you scream and yell!"
• "I'm ready to go!... Give me two minutes!"(those of you who are not happily married, might not understand "the funny" in this one)
• [ordering vegetable soup from Panera Bread-] "Can I get some protein with my soup!"

 From the - Grandparents say The Funniest Things - file:

•  "Your mom and I decided we are not going to put any apps or ebooks on the iPad!"